Hello..can I speak to Micheal, Mike ar?Mike?Eh..who are you?

For the past week or so, i’ve been getting phone calls from this unknown company looking for someone called Micheal Chia or Cheah or whatever you wish to call it. I think I’ve spoken to a receptionist, a department manager, a secretary, a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker and some countless number of executives thus far. So for the first few days, everytime I get a call from them, I would politely explain that I am not this Micheal guy and I do not work for them and that I am a student and I don’t appreciate getting disturbed in the middle of a lecture by people trying to arrange mettings and complaining about faulty machines.

From all the phone calls I’ve been getting, I have deduced that this Micheal fella is probably the Maintenance Department head or something.

This is how I see it, in the phone switchboard, my number has been programmed to Micheal’s extention number, so everytime you think you’re calling Micheal, the call get’s routed to me. Now it doesn’t take rocket science to tell you that when you hear someone else rather than Micheal on the phone, you have probably reached the wrong number. I have explained so many times to all these people but they just don’t seem to get it. Come on, how hard is it to go down to the reception switchboard and reprogram the numbers. So it has come to a point where now, if they can’t accept the fact that I AM NOT MICHEAL, I’ve decided to take on the roll of being Micheal.

There’s this one time, the receptionist called me and said that the Boss want’s to have a personal meeting with Micheal (now somebody must be in trouble) It was Friday morning 9am and the meeting was supposed to be at 9.30am, so this was my reply to her, “Tell boss that i’m busy, can we reschedule? I’ll call him”, she got a shock, i’m guessing that the meeting was already set and that she’s just confirming my attendence. Well i didn’t cal Boss, coz I don’t have his number, hope he’s not waiting for me. Too bad for Boss, looks like Micheal has to finish his tutorial and can’t attend meeting or else he’ll lose his 3% of his internal marks…Sorry Boss.

The second time, it was a Sunday. Apparently some machine on some assembly line broke down and needed attention, so ”who ya gonna call” (with The Ghostbusters theme song in the background playing), Micheal of course. So the call came to ME around 3pm while I was just chilling with my cousin. “Hello, Micheal ah? Mr. Micheal, the #$@%$%%32!% (some gibberish machine name i couldn’t understand) machine break down already, since yesterday. Now marketing says cannot delay shipment, must fix today. How ah?” Now firstly, if the machine was down yesterday, why call me now (not that I care, after all I AM NOT MICHEAL!) But for the sake of humor, I said i’ll deal with in on Monday (which was a public holiday). With ghast, he (the caller who must have been the production supervisor) said , “Nooooooo cannot like that, aiyo, die lar. Marketing say cannot delay already, Maybe I call Seah (must be a technician from maintenance) to come in but don’t if today he can work onot (or not)”. To which I decided to be asssertive as the Maintanence department head and replied, “You call who ever you need to, tell them Mike asked to come in, OT, or double pay don’t care. I authorize…”. Kudos to me for flexing officin’ powers. The production supervisor was excited, I could hear by the tone of his voice, well at least I made his day i hope. As far as Seah is concerned, sorry buddy, Sunday also must go back to work.(I would want to throw my head back and laugh extreamly loud but then again, I was only doing “my work”)

I can’t believe how ignorant people can be. This is a  company that is doing real company stuff and of all the times I’ve told them to mend their evil ways and stop harrassing me, they just refuse to. Therefore I have resorted to this guerilla type tactics to teach these people a lesson. I’m sorry Micheal, I tried to tell your people but they are just plain..(insert adjective here)…I don’t know what to say already!

The next time the receptionist calls me, I’m gonna flirt with her and ask her out, I really hope Micheal or the receptionist is not married. In fact, from now, if I get a call from any male person from the office, I’m gonna flirt with them too. Got to look on the bright side of things rite? Time to have some fun and not let this get to me aye!